Just imagine a really cool word for 'kawan'

i do at times wonder.. where the hell are my friends?
when i was young, despite being pushed around by the people i was close to, friends had always been the top in my priority list.. sad to say that then, family had always been second.
do note that it was in past tense..

then i realized, for those whom i refer to as 'the best friend' lasts not as long as just normal ones.
but i still do have a couple of best friends now.. been 8 years now..

but what happened to my childhood friend of kindergartens and primary school ones?

is it because that we spend too much time together then that it expires ? then again, it could be out of the fact that we constantly meet new people. but if we see it in natures perspective, whatever which moves slowly lasts longer. a good example would be the lifespan of a mosquito and a turtle..
mosquito-fast-dies in a week from takeoff; turtle-slow- lives for hundred of years..
can this concept apply to friendship? i mean, does it mean that if we see less of each other, well meet new people and loose them. If we see each other too often, we'll get sick of each other and may loose the friendship as well.. issit a norm for us to loose a friend every decade? or does maturity plays a factor? acting as a catalyst to increases the lifespan of friendships exponentially..
in theory, friends you meet later on in life last longer, given that the catalyst theory is correct.
god forbid, myself from getting a maturity growth defect. as i truly feel lonely.

'so close yet so far' factor does not imply in my case of friendship deficiency.. its just one is in Kelantan and the other one is in Sydney. literally far away.
coincidents? or is it a mere law of nature to drift us all apart? or just me away from everyone?

Maybe its a punishment from the almighty on myself for ever putting family second.
Guess the hikmah of it is that, i have never been so close to my family now than ever.

..or....
was it just a mere resort due to the deficiency of concern and understanding friends? that wouldn't be right either.. id like to think it in a way that i choose to be close to my friends. for making such options, my subconsciousness temporarily shuts of the friends around me..
finite possibility..

Give and take i suppose..
miss ya idz and amir.